Blue Skies

Okay! So this is a somewhat confidential entry that I typed two days ago, but just reviewed and found honestly hilarious and refreshing. Ha! I hope you enjoy this as mush as I did reviewing it.

         I had fun in San Francisco. I definitely took it for granted. My family I don’t take for granted. They’re terrible. They’re real live monsters... I honestly just can’t keep living with them. They’re drowning me in sorrows and more difficulties than I could’ve ever imagined. Ahhhhhh!

And the music begins to play for the one with a broken heart. Boohoo! I’m such a sop story. I’m such a child. I’m not independent. When will I ever grow up? I’m so tired of my melancholy state... It needs to be dead and buried already. Blue skies are falling.

I can already fall asleep and it’s only 11:13 AM. I’m listening to Feist and they’re really talented for this century, they can kind of define it. But I like this century like I like Feist. I like sitting in bed, listening to music while I type magical sentences onto the screen. So what if I’m bedridden? Ha! How bipolar am I? Ass. Associates and representatives please decide whether or not to steal! Ha! I’m totally stealing words from the lyrics I’m gathering by ear, by Regina Spektor.

I’m glad being high doesn’t last the whole day. But now I’m getting hungry and with no food in the cabinets or refrigerator to encourage my body to get up and off my fat ass, I’m just going to sit a little longer, listening to the Pandora radio... I love this song, “Home” by Edward Sharpe & The Magnetic Zeroes. Uh! Such a great one, so uplifting! But now I have to pee. By the way, I like any song that has whistiling in it, like Noah and The Whale’s “5 Years Time.”

  It’s art time. Actually I’m cooking Bagel-Bites. Nevertheless, I’ve never liked listening to music so much... and on Pandora.com. Man! Now my neck is itchy. And my arm. I’m totally infectious. Feist again! Yes! They’re totally awesome. Now my chin and left cheek... apple of my cheek. What if I have rosacea? OH! That is so like the way this year would want to end, like the twin towers on September 11th(Too soon? Sorry.), also the day I was put into the adoption house. WoW! I’m so utterly selfish, it’s really gross. But then again I’m twenty.

Anyways, I love history, like World War 2 and Titanic kind of history. And I love the style of the 40’s and 50’s. I love Monet and Van Gogh and Manet and sometimes Picasso. I love Moleskine notebooks. I love aged books with leather hardback and nothing more or nothing less. 

I wish I was brought-up french. I wish I carried more striped t-shirts in my closet. I wish... well I do smoke cigarettes, but I want to quit. I wish I had a bakery...and was a certified pastry chef. I wish I was a master art teacher and student. I wish I was better with the tennis racket. The French invented tennis. And I do wish I could dance ballet, I have for years over years now.

So, I’m going to be getting dual citizenship.... eventually- key word right there. I’m currently both an American and Russian citizen, but my passport needs to be renewed for the Russian embassy or whatsoever to accept me into their country.

Intermission

So, I was going to take a shower, but it’s much too cold. I hate stepping out of the shower when its freezing, especially in CA. It was 42 degrees Fahrenheit this morning, I can only image what the temp is now.

I feel like watching a good movie, but know I shouldn’t. I haven’t even finished the article on tinybuddha.com about “Becoming the person you want to find,” and selfishly thought it was being written by oneself to oneself. Ha!

I’ve always tried to re-create good memories, but that’s not a good idea. Wow! I can’t believe I literally just realized that. 

Why am I enjoying every song on Pandora radio right now?

I want to be in a magical "Lord of the Rings" and fairy world. How completely tranquil. San Francisco had the potential. 

I can’t wait to be happy settled in my mid-40’s. Oh Yea! Yee-Yea! 

P.S. Don’t sing about weed, just make a good enough song for the effects from mj.