Rough, Rough Draft

Rough, Rough Draft

So many days lying with sheets.

So many days lying.

I wish I could be more constructive

Like my fellow peers.

Hour by hour

More lines on my face like to appear.

I don't know why nothing mends.
My days as my only friends;

I guess that’s blessed though,

That truly is a lot.

For now, anyhow...

... I’m upset.

What will change me from this dress?

(Fashion sees no laughter.

Laughing comes harder to date.)

I’m trying!

I’m trying to respect everything I can.

Gratitude is after all,

The best attitude.

I know this much now,

Happiness is  a gift...

... Truly the chief gift of the world.

Especially for a lonesome, lonely girl.

The grayness keeps drawing nearer.

And I’m laboring to hide,

I’m laboring to run,

I even tried being warm,

Like the Sun.

What can keep me from sinking lower?

I have dumb-luck,

But I don’t have good-luck.

What can this argue?

I don’t want to be superstitious.

Maybe that’s what got me into this mess.

What will change me from this dress?

Melancholy, melancholy!

I like the word,

But  my mind differs with the state.

This state has dragged me too far now.

I will not surrender!

I will not succumb!

Anything is higher than acting numb.

Everyone acts numb from their pain.

They try so hard to guard it.

They try so hard to shield it.

And I tried so hard to follow

Their “rhythm.”

I had my own rhythm.

I had an actual rhythm.

The course of my heart 

Kept pace in absolute rhyme.

There’s nothing stronger than that...

... Being yourself,

Over time.  

-Audrey Harper